Kalbaishakhi

The thunder, the lightning, the storm…Kalbaisakhi again. The dust rose and the whole world stirred mirroring my restless soul. The thunder crackled and the skies split open. The heavens poured their heart out. My soul awoke to aeons old memories, I believed again. Nature opened her arms and embraced me, hugged me close to her bosom - the long abandoned daughter welcomed back into her fold. I heard the music of my soul, I heard the unspoken promise…the promise of power, the promise of love. I was initiated into the secrets of the Gods; my coven called, I must answer…The purple velvet veil was ripped apart, I waited to catch a glimpse of the universe tonight…Heightened senses, I held my breath. As abruptly as it started, it died down. City bustle again. I almost lived...

Walk with me...
This torturous road
I'll hold your hand and lead you through,
The bliss of Eden.
We shall behold
Russet sunsets and melodious nights
In perfect peace...
And you shall smile,
"Honey, that's tautologic"
You haven't known
A better place
Than this dark alley
We meet up in
Our little world,
A secret one.
I'll treasure your words...
"Magic in your smile, miracle in your love"

Freedom

A freedom to live
And a freedom to die
To spread my wings
And skyward fly
A freedom to win
And a freedom to err
To smile through tears
When dreams mine blur.
A freedom from struggle
And a freedom from strife
Give me freedom
To live my life.
A freedom accorded
By fresh spring air
The freedom to treasure
My sunsets fair.
A freedom to love
And a freedom to hate,
I need the freedom
To battle my fate
A freedom to cry
When I’ve lost it all
A freedom to cherish
My rise and fall.
A freedom in life
And a freedom in death
I need freedom
In every breath.

July

July,
My month of passion,
Or digression.
Of rainbow hunting,
Of laughter and hurting.
Why do you forsake me, my love?
I seek my July manna now,
My pain and anguish, tears and joy
July had witnessed Fate's vile ploy.

An August Night

It wasn’t the best of August evenings when he stepped out. Late, lingering monsoon rains, the kind that always dampened his spirits, lashed out and Arjun shuddered at the thought of the task ahead. "Why me," he thought.... "Was this what I was made for? And that too, her? Does she deserve this?" And at that he recalled a verse she had read to him, one summer, "Since this was written, and needs must be". How far away it all seemed now. "Browning" he muttered, unbidden. "Browning", he muttered, "yet again.....". "A face to lose youth for, to occupy age with the dream of, meet death with." With death, he was going to meet tonight, but not his. A million thoughts crossed his mind, a million emotions stirred in the depths of his soul. It seemed like a dream and he'd wake any moment only to find her lying snugly by his side. But it wasn't. "It isn’t meant to be Arjun", she had shut the door on his face more than a year back; the day that changed his life forever. He had lost more than love that night. He had lost his mind, his faith, his happiness, and he had lost his patience....Paradoxically, as he walked the paved paths that led to her home, he felt a calm stealing over him. His mind cleared and he felt strangely patient. Tonight would last forever. Tonight, he thought, would be what he had so patiently for. Tonight. All his wait, his perseverance, his hope and his determination. The august rain would wash the sins, he thought - her sins. And his. Born in a puritan Brahmin household he could remember his mother tell him that it was a grave sin to kill a woman… Brahma Hatya….His fingers closed upon the pistol in his pocket. It felt cold. As cold as the emptiness in his heart. To him nothing else mattered tonight. He would have his revenge. The door was a foot away. The practiced feet made no sound as the practiced hand gripped the door knob and stealthily opened the only barrier between him and his destiny. Habit dictated that he take the stairs to the bedroom upstairs. He smiled. Not tonight. He knew where he would find her. A wry smile swept through his face as he tiptoed towards the living room.....the piano......he knew from the silence of its chords that someone was playing the grand instrument. The icy silence. The gloom. The wet august air. The stage could not have been better set. Yes, they were both there. As he had left them, after dinner earlier that night. The draught he had added to their coffee had worked well. He caught her eyes.....drowsy and tearful. Tears rolled like precious pearls from her lovely dark eyes. He moved his hands. She moved her lips. "Arjun, I knew you would come tonight," she said, "but the gun is a welcome surprise...." “It’s yours, my love”, he said. A single click. Arjun hardly blinked as blood squirted from her husband’s temples. Sleep was stealing over her. He quietly placed the gun in her fingers, kissed the lips he had now come to love and left quickly without turning back.

Time slowed down....at last. The last few months, days would fly past in a blur, my indistinct consciousness only aware of wakefulness and sleep. Dreams hazy, music muted and vision fuzzy. Today, time stalled for me. I savored every moment; shared a lot of "mountain" talk- Shillong and Kumaon, Kashmir and Darjeeling. My mind full of wet clouds and my spirits soaring among the stars, my day was a walk through my childhood memories.

Anticipation

Take away my sunrise,
Steeped in golden hues
Shining, smiling fresh
My dreamy languid dawns
Vulcan's teardrops
Into your graceful arms.

Take away my noons
Steeped in blazing tones
Raging burning ochers
Martian spirit
Into your restless soul.

Take away my sunsets
Steeped in russet silks
Sighing painful eves
Sad purple dusks
Dripping Venus
Into your passionate bosom.

Leave alone my midnights
For him to whisper tales
Of passion and painful woes
Into my hungry ears
And dewdrops shed by moonbeams new
Shall sing melodies of our love.


Written in anticipation of the tales (literal ones...stories of Sukumar) that a friend promised to read me every night.

Poison Ivy

What is this madness that grips me? Spreading through my veins like a slow acting poison. It courses through me, like icy blood, leaving me dizzy and breathless. It churns my heart, ails my mind. Death and darkness, it hearlds; and my vision goes hazy. Ah...this must be the sacred evil people call Love.

The Original Sin

Can you see the lightning
Tear the garment of the night
Rip apart, the seams of the sky
Crackle at the damsel’s tumultuous plight?

Can you feel the storm that rages,
Raked up to prevent a nimble flight
Dusty fears cross my heart-
Violation of modesty or display of might?

The rape is done, silence reigns
Resigned now she does not fight
The rain of tears become her well
And remains of a disheveled sight.

Written 10^th April 07, 3 am